In deep rest we always experience an unspoken and silent deep connection within us. We are most conscious of this experience when we encounter breathtaking scenery. There is an unspoken, silent euphoria and a sense of overwhelming expansion. The physical separation seemingly dissolves and we merge into one timeless experience. This is the closest approximation of that unspoken and silent deep connection we all experience, a feeling of being natural, free and authentic. Many of us idealise such experience for its inspirational qualities and its ability to bring stillness to the mind. Our impressions quickly settle on the environment and the way we feel shaping also our perception on where and when we would experience this feeling again. We begin to seek for the same experience again like an opiate.
Have we ever paused to consider this phenomenon?
When we experience the silent deep connection within us our thoughts settle but the mind remains active. It is an unsettling state for the ever active mind because it cannot make sense of the experience. Although the trigger-point for this silent deep connection is through the senses, the feeling is an innate experience. The mind cannot go inwards. It perceives and expresses through the senses and justifies. So to preserve itself it generates the desire to seek something that is yet to be defined hoping to send one into an experiential tailspin. The mind is actually creating confusion by projecting the experience to be found only in the environment. It is also unknowingly setting itself up.
If this inner connection can only be found in the environment, why do we remain restless even after having experienced and achieved success in living? Why do we experience an unsettling feeling of a false identity and being inauthentic? What are we really seeking? What do we hope to achieve?
So begins our desire to escape from the routine environment which we also routinely plan. Our escape is usually to remove ourselves from the thought patterns generated in our routine living by going someplace else. When away some begin to seek a deeper meaning or awareness to one’s existence often without really knowing what and where it is–eagerly looking for just that eureka moment along the way. Some only seek the natural or artificial beauty satisfied with its sensory and sensuous experience. Whatever the experience we are still entrapped by our senses and the deep connection with ourselves we so desire remains just as elusive as before.
The experience at a retreat, holiday or break eventually wears off spurring us to again loath the situation we escaped. Perhaps not but consider the commitments we promise to keep at the end of our escapes. Do they run out of juice after a while? Again and again this cycle is repeated and related to others around us.
What are we seeking? What authenticity are we searching for?
Our achievements and successes in living are an expression of our capabilities which we routinely mistaken as coming from being highly self-aware and not self-centered.
What we are actually seeking is for an authentic experience of the Self and our existence.
Often we get stuck on why we are successful or not. When we approach any situation from this position we are labeling ourselves as either the victim or culprit. Do you see this? Is there stability in the mind? Are we able to effortlessly let go?
Notice that we will continue to repetitively question why until we are absolutely exhausted. Even at this stage we will continue to do so until our intellect is completely overwhelmed and frustrated. Then Nature takes over and helps you to let go and surrender. This is where the Divine so beautifully reveals itself by showing that it is always looking after you even without you knowing!
By letting go wisdom dawns with the question: What brings me contentment and happiness? The search for your true identity begins initiating the process of moving from self-centredness to self-awareness.
So next time you feel like getting away to find yourself. Pause for a moment and really think. If I can’t find myself at this very moment and everything seems inauthentic, what makes me so sure I will find it elsewhere?
How can you find an authentic experience of yourself if you don’t know the Self? Do you see the confusion?
Be vigilant when planning to escape from routine. We maybe unknowingly escaping our search for the authentic experience we so desire. Undeniably a change in the environment can be supportive but also realise it is just that and not essential.
It is through the tempest one must sail to soar into bolder and greater new heights where the human spirit excels and flourishes. Escape not from routine but rather the cowardice that entraps us from discovering our true nature. Summon the courage to face yourself and not for winning another race in living.