Our relationship with our mind can be very abusive.
Like any abusive relationship we don’t know how to get out of it fearing the opinions of our neighbours and our vain attempt to keep up appearances. Indeed appearances it is because it is all just an illusion. Getting out of any abusive relationship needs courage to take responsibility and proper actions for oneself. The successes we hold dear to are like cosmetics concealing the sadness, emptiness, bruises, loneliness, misery that often shadows us.
So long as you think “this is what it should be” you’ll never be happy nor content because you are basing it all on an imagined future. What is imagined is not real so you are literally chasing after dreams. Even if you carry out them what next? It is a never-ending cycle and similarly our unhappiness will continue.
If you cannot be happy at this moment then how can you be at the next?
I am not denying the need for self-improvement but we often get confused between self-improvement and self-awareness. One is action and situation based the later is simply your very being.
Success have their role but it is not the destination. Perhaps this is why we are never satisfied with having just one achievement. Do you see how the cycle of illusion is perpetuated? It is happening from the space of confusion and ignorance. Our desire for achieving stems from an agitated mind in self-doubt. If this is its root then the achievement itself can only bear fruit to confusion and volatility.
So what is the role of achievement if it is perpetuating illusion?
Achievements are part of self-improvement and growth. Yet when we see it as an affirming expression of ourselves we fall into the pit of confusion. When we see achievements as a drop line into self-discovery then we can free ourselves. Do you see its subtle nature?
Self-discovery is exploring the perennial questions in spirituality: Who Am I? What Am I? Where Am I?
Blessings to you on your journey of self-discovery.
Jai Guru Dev!