In getting from one point to another, thoughts, feelings and actions inevitably arise. Directed and often deliberate they come to mirror effort and frustration when caught between the points. It is very easy to get lost in this transition without realising. Have you even noticed this phenomenon?
Being totally absorbed in a situation whether through thoughts, feelings or actions brings not freedom but instead absolute bondage filled with effort and frustration. Even when reaching the next point–though there may be a sense of relief or triumph–bondage remains cleverly disguised by the mind hurriedly pushing you to the next moment. This phenomenon is the result of feverishness and attainment.
Feverishness and dispassion are not the opposites of each other. Awareness is equally found in feverishness as it is in dispassion and is often expressed as ambition or aggression. One can even be feverish about being dispassionate!
Feverishness is not void of dispassion because to realise dispassion there needs to be feverishness. Otherwise what is there to let go? Do you see this connection? What remains hidden can be dormant but not necessarily absent.
It is said that dispassion is effortless but for a novice seeker it is everything but effortless. Do you see the confusion being experienced by the novice and the tailspin into feverishness?
Having to place effort into becoming dispassionate is essentially resistance of the moment. Putting effort into the practices that nurtures dispassion is Sadhana. It is a very subtle distinction that can propel our thoughts, feelings and actions either into feverishness for attainment or forbearance for discipline.
The distinction as well as confusion is in the feeling of completion. When the attention of the mind is at the next point, completion is seen in the next moment. If the present moment is incomplete how can it even lead to completion in the next? Do you see this distortion in perception?
To be able to see the present moment as being complete and perfect as it is–not matter how imperfect or incomplete we may feel–is flowing into dispassion.
Cultivating dispassion is like watering a plant. The action takes effort but may not necessarily lead to its healthy growth. There are other influences too. In fact if we keep watering we could do more harm than good. The skill in knowing when and how much to water comes from experience. The knowledge that comes from experience is gained through observation.
It is a very subtle observation of the confusion resulting from the connection inherent in action and non-action. Even in non-action there is action and vice-versa.
Take some moments to consider these observations. Move from letting go to just let it be.